[VIDEO DESC & TRANSCRIPT: Lori is seated in a casket display room full of casket options. The NAD logo is transparent in the bottom right corner.
LORI: I grew up in Wisconsin. I have no other family members in this business, I’m the only one! I’ve always wanted to work in a funeral home since I was in 7th or 8th grade. I thought it was a unique job and figured I’d never be out of a job, you know — people die everyday! And, I appreciate being a part of the family’s grieving process. Oh, and dead people don’t talk back, I like that!
Black and white clip of Kober Funeral Home’s exterior building with snow falling. Next clip, Lori is opening a door to the garage and walking down the steps. In the center, a white border surrounds white text “LORI” underneath, appears in white text “FUNERAL HOME DIRECTOR”.
LORI: Hello, I’m Lori Kober and I’m the owner of the Kober Funeral Home — I’m also the first deaf woman to be a licensed funeral home director!
Black and white clip of the embalming room at the funeral home where a covered body is laying on the table.
LORI: My parents found out I was deaf when I was three and a half years old. I grew up on a farm and my parents didn’t know what to do, so they placed me at a private Catholic school — St. John’s in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Eventually, I left and graduated from the school for the deaf in 1985. I graduated from Gallaudet University with a Bachelor’s in Home Economics. I needed a backup in case I didn’t like Mortuary Science.
Black and white clip of Lori putting on her embalming robe and clearing off the table.
LORI: When I came home for the summer, my parents expected me to work with bales of hay — this wasn’t what I wanted to do. Thankfully, my parents found a local funeral home and asked the funeral director if I could work with them. They said sure and let me do a summer internship with them. And since my freshman year at Gallaudet University, I knew that Mortuary Science was right for me. I decided to go to school for that. If not for that internship, I wouldn’t be here today. I’m really grateful to that local funeral home for giving me that opportunity.
Black and white clip of Lori putting on her gloves.
LORI: I graduated from Gallaudet University in 1990, then in the summer I enrolled at the University of D.C. in the Mortuary Science program. I took the evening classes – which meant that I worked during the day and went to classes at night. During the weekends, I worked at a funeral home, Rapp Funeral Services, in Silver Spring, Maryland — which is very close to the NAD by the way! I worked there for 2 and a half years before I moved to South Dakota.
Black and white clip of Lori in her embalming robe opening cabinet doors and looking at the equipment.
LORI: I knew this job was available because I called the state’s Funeral Director Association in South Dakota, they mentioned this funeral home had a job opening. I came for an interview and it was with an older couple who had never met a deaf person before! They hired me on a 6-month trial basis, so I worked on the weekends while I taught ASL temporarily in Sioux Falls.Then they hired me full time in June and stayed with them for 12 years. I’ve always wanted to work in a funeral home but never thought about owning my own funeral home until about one or two years before I bought one. When I started thinking about it, I asked the hearing community here in Vermillion and Elk Point — they all said “Why not?! Buy a funeral home, you can do it!” It was very tough and wasn’t easy, there were many setbacks, not to mention the owner wanted a certain amount of money. This meant I had to go to banks but I kept getting declined. I didn’t give up even though three banks declined my loan application. Eventually, I finally got an SBA loan for women in small businesses, that loan certainly helped! It’s been almost 12 years since I bought this funeral home.
Black and white clip of Lori prepping chemicals in the embalming room while a covered body is on the table.
LORI: I’ll be honest with you, a lot of deaf people and kids are shocked when they find out I own a funeral home! They always ask why and how — I like explaining because it is fascinating. It’s weird at first but they get used to it.
Black and white clip of Lori and an assistant walking through a back room pulling a casket. White text appears at the bottom center, “We all know what it’s like to enter a funeral home as the only deaf person there with other hearing people who don’t sign. Here, deaf people have access to what actually happens behind the scenes. This helps their grieving process.” Light blue text “- Lori” and a light blue line outlines the left side of the text.
LORI: I’m on call 24 hours, every day, all day. Oftentimes, people pass away at night. Which means, around 2 or 3 AM, I wake up and pick up the body then bring it back to the funeral home to embalm it. You can’t predict when a person dies, you have to make sure your funeral home is ready. I often meet with the families at nursing homes or hospitals. I set a time for them to come to finalize funeral arrangements before I contact a pastor — that way all of us are on the same page.
Black and white clip of Lori and an assistant rolling a casket towards an open hearse door and lifts the casket into the door.
LORI: Once I pick up the body, I like to embalm it fairly quickly. When a body stiffens up, they build blood clots which makes it harder for the chemicals to go through the body. So I prefer to embalm it quickly. It lasts about a week. If the family prefers to have their funeral in two weeks instead — this means I have to use a stronger chemical to preserve the body longer.
Black and white clip of Lori sitting in the driver’s seat of a hearse while a garage door opens.
LORI: I LOVE my job! It’s always different every day, it’s never the same — you know like, working in front of the computer all day and come home for dinner — it’s always different. Sometimes it’s quiet in the morning before it gets really busy in the afternoon with a car accident or a murder. I really like having unique days. I also really like helping families. I need people like YOU to be like me! You can do anything! If you’re interested in working in a funeral home, go for it! If you need any information, you can contact me.
Black and white clip of Lori going through drawers while a covered body lays on the table. Video cuts to a dark blue background. Red alphabet letters of “N-A-D” in American Sign Language appears one by one in the center of the video. The copyright text appears in white underneath, “National Association of the Deaf, Copyright 2020, All Rights Reserved”.]